secret garden

hi,i'm back

2005-07-09T18:01:00.000+08:00

hi, i'm back. i feel i'm saying "hi" to no one as i doubt pple will read this. However, i don't expect many pple read my blog and give comments.

my mom has gone back china and soon i'll be back too. what a relief , i miss my mother land. i have not been back for 3 years!! i can't imagine how i endure this period of time. guess the only thing that keep me going is my goal of getting into a good uni by getting good results. i feel my house is quiet w/o mom, my father and i don't talk much. i cooked lunch and dinner myself. i bought fish,sprawn,cake,bread,coke,sausage,chilli etc myself from the market. then i made soup using meat,tomato,egg and cole. then i made hot dog and stir-fried sprawn and cashew.it's nice....

while i was cooking i was thinking about my ex-girlfriend, i really miss her. she is a cutie and has good character, she is nice but i really don't know why and how we broke up. it happens fast and i didn't feel the pain at first. one of my colleague told me that when a couple break up, the male will feel relieved cos he is free again. i felt the same way at first, i thought i can find someone better one day, nothing big deal... then as time goes by.....i miss her more and more until now, after more than one and half years. it's crazy...why man is built in this way? (i'm not blaming God). girls , i guess, they should forgot guys after some time, completely forget. i don't know, i think my ex-gf did. i don't have the face and the chance to ask her if she forgot abt me, but i guess so. but anyway...i don't know, maybe breaking up is our only way out, i'm going other country for uni and she stays in singapore. a question popped out in my head, what the heck is love? we were together for just 2 months, and i have been thinking about her for more than 1.5 years?? this is ridiculous...sigh.i can't believe that i imagined how good it is if i was cooking for her...kaoz...i guess i'm too lonely or something.

小屁孩在干什么？

2004-07-31T01:19:00.000+08:00

zhi jie:请你不要吃了我，我给你唱一支好听的歌

2004-06-15T19:34:00.000+08:00

周末娱乐自己，看到已故的王**写给他老婆李**的情书，恍如隔世的70年代的爱情居然就像我们一帮孩子17、8岁的时刻。唯一不同的是生活背景。那种粉嫩嫩的感情，在谈工作，谈理想，谈生活中进行着。其中有一篇一段写到一首儿歌，小面团对老奶奶说：“请你不要吃了我，我给你唱一支好听的歌”。可爱之极，周一上班来每次吃饭都会和身边的人说起这样的一句话。才发现大家也都和我一样，很容易被阔别已久的简单幸福，简单话语感动。但到现实生活中，我们面容冷漠，性情坚毅如钢，谁还相信幸福可以简单，可以柏拉图？

a love letter made of song names!

2004-06-14T11:32:00.000+08:00

dear lover,
why are you trying to avoid me all the time?i've tried all the means to pls you, now i just don know wat to do with myself.alright i asked you the last time,are you gonna be my girl?yes or no? i still don't give a fuck to others say. i will just let my feelings to burn.gal , can i take you to some where only we know, and let you kiss me? can i touch you, your body is a wonder land. you are such a naughty girl, my sex bomb, sunshine. i'll love you with all my heart, this i promise you.girl , why don't you let me love you?

love always,

music lover

wa kakaka....

Desire

2004-06-10T13:20:00.000+08:00

one of the things man needs to learn after he comes to this world is to satisfy his own desires, including love,sex, money, winning, revenge, power etc.maybe we can treat a man as 3 parts: body and thinking system and soul. soul is the true mastermind, maybe soul is the unconsciousness; thinking system is a processing system, it's probably related to the subconsciousness and counsciousness; while body is just a tool. a man is like a machine. a machine needs to be oiled, so we needs to provide body with nutrients by taking in food, provide a thinking systm with knowledge as nourishment,meanwhile provide a soul with emotional nutrients,including the feelings of love, happy etc. things are not this simple, but this is the rough idea.anyway, if a man is not able to satisfy himself,he will feel bored, and suppressed. (i'm not satisfied , coz i need to study for exams, and i'm stressed. and over the past year, my craving to win has seldom be satisfied,maybe cos my standard is too high.it makes me bored and unhappy.)

in my opinion,these desires are common to all men, yes all human being(monks of cos). they make up our sadness and happiness of everyday. they link people together (for example, getting married is a type of bonding together for 2 pple,joining the same church and being faithful in the same religion are also acts showing people are bound together due to their needs for love and their needs for wanting to be satisfied).these desires also balanced the society as a whole, with all these desires, different aspects of life is taken care of. that means we are trying to satify one another while we are trying to let others satisfy ourselves.

on the other hand, desires are disastrous. they coz the breaking up of married couples, fighting for power , diputing over money etc. this is cos to satisfy some desires people need to make others fail and hence,others are not satisfied.

all in all, desires have their pros and cons, like most of the things. And hence, it's once again based on man's intelligence to balance up their desires with our realistic lives, so as to strike a balance and live up to ourselves and the society we are responsible to.

boda

2004-06-07T22:32:00.000+08:00

'boda' is a local name for 'bold head' , it's a dialect. i shaved 'boda' in secondary school 4. that time i think it's v cool, and my hair can't be kept long as it's too thick and hard.i still remember the first day after i shaved 'boda'. that day got chinese revision lesson for o level, i was sitting at the first row. my frien sebastian, sat behind me and later he said he was shocked when he saw the back of my head and wondering who am i. i also remember that moring when i first got onto bus , i seemed to hear my schoolmate gasped in surprise. i also remember the following day we had a fire drill exercise, and all of us gathered at the basketball court.suddenly Mr. Phei(physics teacher graduated from acjc) asked in disbelief in chinese," What happened to you?! Is it that you were dumped by a girl?" " what the heck," i thought. yet, i remembered another time when my school snack shop auntie mistaken me as " Fa Hai" (a famous monk). that time, channel 8 was showing"Xin Bai She Zhuan" which is a famous chinese fairy tale.the story goes like this: a snake evil loves a human, but the monk Fa Hai wants to kill the snake and save the human.though Fa Hai's motivation and purpose is not wrong, but he prevented a couple based on true love to suffer tremendously. all right, that are the unpleasant experiences i had with my 'boda' head. YET, i shaved boda using a cutter myself the day before, i don't know what i was thinking, i even took 2 photos of me shaving.i nv thought about the consequence, and did it on impulse. after shaving, i looked into mirror, instead of looking at the usually handsome( hehe...) me, i was looking at a monk from don't-know-where, sigh...i wore a cap to library all the afternoon and my head aches.i tend to do things on impulse, but then i think there is nothing wrong about it, because if everything based on logic, then i'll be mad.so as long as i can take the responsibility of my own action, i think it's still alright, just need to wear a cap all the while when i go out, and after holiday my hair will be back!~

biology practical test

2004-06-04T14:02:00.000+08:00

i'm doomed for the bio pract test today,didn't have time finish and after reviewing the questions with my frienz i realised a big mistake in my prac. shit........wat e heck, i got revise but still....nvm.there is a trick in the second question, the amount of reducing sugar present is twice as much as glucose in the colour marker, because it contains both glucose and fructose. so the amount of glucose should be just half of it.wo liao, how come i nv notice.

the first quesiton i did too slowly. when i thought the hands on prac of the first question is finished, i found one more at e end of the question, to my horror. then i started to panic but ensured myself there is still time to finish the prac. however, when i was doing the benedict's test in the second question, i forgot adding benedict's solution and only realised it after i finished boiling.so i did it again, i can't "smoke"(cheat) because the results are not predictable and affect rest of 3questions.third question is drawing of transverse section of part of trachea and oesophagus. it wasn't hard but i'm not v confident about it, as i have not much time to think and check through. total blanks: 1 or 2 for Q1;1(graph) for Q2; 2 for Q3.wow, that's a lot and the total marks deducted should be.............15 out of 60.shit.don noe wat's prac's weightage on the result of june common test.for march is 5% for chem prac, hope this time also.i'm not efficient this time, as i'm too optimistic,dreaming away and care too much details, a bit perfectionist,keep focused next time. ok done.

wat's up man!

2004-06-02T23:31:00.000+08:00

it's my first time here,em.haha,finally can express myself freely.wa hahaha... see wat am i going to write for the following days......hehe